LWK – Life with Kids
I was reading another blog post title – LBK Life before Kids- and I had no desire to read more of the blog than the title. That’s because for me my whole life before I had kids was preparing for when I did have kids. Then I was busy having them. Now I’m busy raising them. It was always my focus in life which is probably why I have so many and love having them around. I’m never quite sure what to do with myself when they’re all gone off someplace else. I’ve always said that a book is much more interesting when you’re shirking your responsibilities to read one!
Actually, my baby is now 6 going on 7 and I feel a little lost already without a baby to take care of. Sounds kind of weird and maybe even a little pathetic. It’s time to put all that baby caring energy into creating new family experiences! We could actually maybe do a unit study in our homeschool and get it done!
I could title this blog post LAB Life after Babies or LWK Life with Kids. I will always have babies and kids in my life, first my own and then my grandkids. I even mind my 2 year old niece. God has given me the desire to surround myself with kids. I even married a big kid!
It’s not like I don’t have lots to do: cooking, housework, driving kids places, attending sporting events, bible study, karate, church, home-based business, homeschooling…. Still, there’s a part of me that is a little lost and directionless these days without the total time commitment of caring for babies and infants.
I have lots to do but don’t know in what direction I’m going. Maybe it was like that all along but I was too busy to notice.
I’m not worried about it though. It will just take time to adjust to. It won’t be long before I’m so busy in a project (probably involving my family) that I feel full and fulfilled. Then maybe I won’t spend so much time sitting in front of the computer (the kids have noticed and starting commenting! I have always said THEY spend too much time in front of the computer, and they’re quick to remind me of this….)
On top of this feeling of directionlessness (is that even a word?), discouragement has a way of sneaking in. Here’s a little secret: I’m not always a perfect mother and I don’t always have perfect kids. Phew! Glad it’s out of the bag! Seriously, even when things aren’t going quite the way I had planned or would have liked, life is still good. I haven’t been able to make a complete mess out of anything yet!
I shared with the kids the other day that Jesus is the center of my life. I told them how I loved Jesus more than Dad, or any one of them, and that if all of them were gone, just like for Job in the Bible, that I would still be the person I am now, because my whole focus in life is Jesus and living for Him. Jesus is the center of my marriage. Jesus is the center of how I raise my kids. He is the center of my business. He is the center of me. Without Him I would be nothing. With Him I am everything.
It’s good for me to tell them that. I’m sure they would see it if they thought about it. They need to know what I do in secret. They need to know my prayer life, my hopes, my desires, what I pray for them, the desires of my heart…. One of my kids once asked me if I ever brushed my teeth. Of course I do, but I do it before they’re up in the morning and after they’re in bed at night, sometimes before I go out, but always behind a closed door. Then I started to brush my teeth with them so they could imitate me. It’s the same with prayer – if I always do it behind closed doors, they have nothing to imitate! This morning at church, St. Paul spoke again about imitating the Christian walk. I have a responsibility to lead my family by example. I need to lead them by example.
If I listen closely enough, I can find those areas that I need to change and improve. I need to spend less time on the computer, to make sure that my time is well used and necessary. I need to spend more time doing projects with the kids now that I have more time and energy. Yesterday, I baked cookies with one of my girls. A few small projects each week or a big project every now and then. That’s my goal.