To my Daughters…Give Control to God

Dear Daughters,

I wanted to talk to you about “the pill” and birth control.

“The pill” was first advocated by Margaret Sanger almost 100 years ago.  She thought women should be able to have sex when they wanted and not have to worry about pregnancy.  She was also against abortion.  One thing I have learned about “the pill” is that it doesn’t stop a woman’s egg from being fertilized by a sperm, it only makes the uterine lining shed that fertilized egg, thus causing a very early abortion.  How many babies were not born because of “the pill”?

While researching Margaret Sanger, I found that she had published a book called Family Limitation.  The name of this book brought to mind the fact that people use Natural Family Planning (abstinence method of birth control) to limit their family size for various reasons including…it’s not a good time to have a baby…we don’t have enough money…I have more kids than I can handle now…I’m tired and I get angry easily…I want to be able to do the things I want and kids get in the way…I’m too sick…

Of course, there are many more reasons people don’t want to have kids.  These people want to retain control of their reproductive lives. When they do this, they take control away from God.  Giving God control of our lives is a scary thing, but shouldn’t be.  God wants only our good.  He loves us and will always take care of us.  So give God control also of your reproduction.  He is our form of birth control.  Surrender yourself to His will.  He can close the womb if He decides that you shouldn’t have any more children, just as He did for me.  Who would have thought that I would not have another pregnancy at the age of  38?  Not me, that’s for sure.  I felt like I would continue having a child almost every year, but God had other plans.  Now I have time to learn to surrender in other areas of my life and in other ways.

Of all the birth control methods out there, Natural Family Planning and other forms of abstinance are acceptable from a moral and Church view, but at what cost?  The benefits of surrendering control to God are even better.  I feel that He smiles on us when we turn to Him.

Our natural instinct, however, is to take care of ourselves and to do what we want. The danger of this is that we will always mess it up.  Maybe not at first, but it will happen.  We will feel that the control we felt we started with has totally slipped away from us and that we are lost.  Living for ourselves is not how we were created.  We were created to know, love and serve God, and to love each other.

First we need to have God as the centre of our lives.  More than that, though, we need to move out of the way and let God have control.  When you have done this, then you will know peace.  It won’t always be easy, and you will forget and try to take back control, but always return to the God who loves you.  Start again.  He will never turn you away.

I love you too.  I will always love you.  How could I not?  You are a part of me and always will be.

xxoo MOM


  1. This is a great post Melina – very thoughtful on a topic that touches all of us with daughters (and sons) today. thanks
    xo kerri

    • It always frightens me a little when my kids head off to university and makes me think of all the things I forgot to say while they were growing up. I have 2 leaving this year and so much to say! Thanks Kerri

  2. Very well said! Too many people, including the majority of Christian women I believe, just take the pill because “that’s what is done” without knowing HOW it actually works. Same goes for other hormonal birth control. I actually wrote up a blog post a year or two ago about it, because the doctors sure don’t volunteer that information!

    • I think most would be shocked to find out they are aborting a little fetus, a young life. Doctors are so busy they get all their information from the drug companies themselves and that would be bad business to share this information!

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