God’s Tears

Hi, I’m Melina, a homeschooling mother of 11, Grandmelina to 1 (and a half!) and Servant of God.

It happened at Adoration last Friday.  Wow!  Powerful!  It’s my job this year to fill the slots at adoration – just 5 hours on the first Friday of the month.  We closed adoration with at least 12 people present, but I was alone for that first hour.  And what a powerful hour!  I had placed candles on the altar, brought out the monstrance and then it started.  I’m always filled with awe when I open the tabernacle and take out the Body of my Lord Jesus and place Him in the monstrance.  What a privilege!

With Jesus safely tucked in the monstrance, ready to be adored, I wrapped my hands around the base and allowed Him to fill me.  After a bit I backed away and knelt before Him, bowing low and just adored Him.  Nothing different so far.  The same feelings of awe, joy, peace and love as always.  Such a special time.

Then it happened.  It caught me totally unaware.  I was in front of the altar, eyes closed, a slight smile on my face, I had just turned to go to my pew, when the tears started.  I wasn’t sad, and I wasn’t upset.  And there weren’t just a few tears.

I was facing the altar again and the tears were streaming down my face and I was sobbing.  And they weren’t my tears – they were God’s tears.  God was crying for His people.

I walked to the back of the church and was led to place my hand on the wall.  With my hand still on the wall I proceeded to walk the inside perimeter of the church, re-dedicating the church to God.  It was as if God was placing a protective barrier all along the walls, keeping evil out, making His home a safe place for His people.

The tears slowed as I walked, then they started again.  God was so present.  I asked God to fill me with His Spirit, which I’m pretty sure He had already done.   I was ready to do whatever He asked.

When I finished walking around the church, I sat in my pew and contemplated what had just happened.  The tears had stopped, and I felt as I did before.  It was as if nothing different had happened.  I wasn’t consumed with a burning desire to do anything.  I wasn’t filled anymore than usual with awe at sitting in the presence of Jesus on the altar.

So what did it mean?  And what is God asking me to do?  What is He asking of His people?

I think it was about re-dedicating our churches to Him.  It was about filling His churches with adorers.  It was about taking time out of our busy schedules for what really matters – our relationship with Him.

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